A Newer, Nicer Normal

For months we have lived with the idea of "the new normal." We have adjusted our expectations and changed our plans. We have shifted our priorities and tweaked our schedules. We have changed our habits.

We are on the verge, I think, of discovering a newer and much nicer normal.

Katie went to day care today for the first time since January 15th, and she loved her day at Jeannie's house. We left the house together this morning, and we made the trip up the hill for the first time in a very long time. Katie dressed up for the occasion, of course, and she was eager to get going. "Come on, Aim," she encouraged. "We have to go!" It was a surprisingly emotional moment, not because I was worried (although I was) but because my beautiful baby was finally free of our house, surrounded by kids and sincerely happy to be out in the world exploring and preparing to play. She trooped right in, full of plans for the day and raring to go. When I could finally define my feelings, I found two thoughts: It was profoundly satisfying, for one thing, to watch as Katie returned to a place and to a set of activities that belonged to our old normal life--to our everyday life before cancer. I was also just incredibly proud of Katie. She is stick thin, she has no hair, and her gait is very weird, but she walked into Jean's house like she owned it, forging ahead bravely and tackling another phase of her recovery. She didn't cry or fuss or clamor to be held. She didn't want us to stay. She allowed Jean to put blankie out of reach. She was ready, and she was awesome.

We ALL went to school today. Every single one of us had a good day. Josh had school pictures, we had meetings and we prepared for a pep rally this Friday. Josh had a play date, and he did his homework. We had a real dinner. We brushed our teeth. We had stories before bed. We looked like a normal family. It's almost too good to be true. We had no idea how good we had it before cancer. I wonder how long we will be able to appreciate just how fortunate we are.